Mole's Main Event - John Cena or: How I Learned to Stop Griping and Accept the Gimmick

Ay Oh tableau! Rob Molster back here with this week’s edition of Mole’s Main Event. This week we delve into one of the WWE’s most popular and most hated superstars: John Cena.

If there is any one wrestler that could represent what the WWE is about today, it’s Cena. He’s charismatic, he’s likable, he’s steroid free (no joke) and he’s ripped (no homo). However, every time his music hits, there’s a consistent reaction. There are very high-pitched screams and a noticeable presence of low-pitched boos. Many times in promos (scripted interviews), Cena’s opponents will slight him by saying that it’s past his fans’ bedtime or that his biggest fans decided to have a tea party instead of coming to see him. While it’s scripted, the insult is not too far from the truth. A large portion of Cena’s fans consists of prepubescents, teenagers, and females. So, why is the WWE marketing a superstar that doesn’t even appeal to their most loyal demographic (adult males)?

In order to answer this question, let’s go over what John Cena has done in the WWE so far. He debuted in the summer of 2002, not really making much noise until later in the fall. On a Halloween edition of SmackDown (WWE’s former Thursday night program), Cena dressed up as Vanilla Ice and rapped. The audience reacted well, and the WWE decided to run with the gimmick, with Cena wearing jorts, throwback jerseys and cutting promos in freestyle rhymes. His freestyles were somewhat entertaining, but mostly cheesy.

Cena released a rap album and has starred in two movies, both produced by Vince McMahon. The album and the movies were great, if your idea of a relaxing day is an afternoon of electroshock. Give him credit though: the album and the movies sold enough to get him money.

Nowadays, Cena has dropped the street guy gimmick and started pronouncing his r’s and such. He’s the WWE’s ultimate babyface (good guy): the clean cut, all American boy. So, why do so many people hate him? There are a few different answers to this question, but there’s one that I think most people will agree with. In truth, Cena’s not that good of a wrestler in the technical sense. He doesn’t possess a wide array of moves and his offense can get pretty stale. Couple that with less than stellar coordination and you can see why fans are disappointed that this is the most popular WWE wrestler. While I will say he has definitely made considerable strides in terms of his wrestling ability since his debut, he’s still not a great wrestler. He’s good at best.

Another reason why people don’t like him is because of his gimmick.You can’t really act like a street thug when you’re billed from West Newbury Massachusetts. That’s like trying to find someone who break dances at Farmington Country Club.

Cena also rubs people the wrong way when it comes to past wrestling icons. He’s a corporate player with a cool head, meaning he’s the exact opposite of Stone Cold Steve Austin and Hollywood Hulk Hogan. Instead of pushing the envelope and doing everything he can to fight the establishment, Cena smiles in the face of corporate America.

So let’s ask the question again: Why is the WWE pushing Cena as their main guy when he’s not that great? The answer is simple: he’s a safe bet. In these times of recession, the WWE cannot afford to take chances. They know that Cena has a large enough fan base that will guarantee Pay Per View event buy rates, TV ratings, and ticket and merchandising sales. If Vince McMahon rubs them the wrong way, he’ll lose big time dough.

At this point, I’ve learned to deal with Cena. He’s boring, he’s bland, he’s predictable, but hey, if he’s this famous, he must be doing something right.

Monday Night Raw has gone down the tubes with this past week’s episode being heralded around the Internet as the worst in history. Next week, I’ll discuss why Raw sucks and how it will help take another wrestling promotion to the next level. Until then, enjoy this Botchamania clip, and have a nice day.

Post written by Robert Molster

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